Ghosting extends into the realm of parasocial relations. I don't like how it's now a subconscious modality when interacting online and wondering whether you are being ghosted, buried, shadow banned or otherwise stymied in free expression and discourse.
I follow the hard and fast rule of, "Man's rejection is God's protection." Bullet dodged. I learned a long time ago there are some people who like to be a version of themselves in certain friendships (and it can be different versions with different friends), and if you start seeing behind that veneer, they get truly uncomfortable and look for reasons to blame you/end the friendship. I'm still surprised when that happens (hasn't for a while; being older, we run out of fux and the energy to faux anything). But that's a them thing, not a we thing. (Still haven't gotten the card, Matt! LOL. Maybe before my birthday.) xo
I was ghosted in 2022 by a very good friend I’d had since 1998. Your post perfectly describes how awful it feels. I went through so many gyrations over it and spent a lot of time in therapy processing the pain of it all and my anger about it. The worst part was actually not the friendship ending; it was that this person I’d been friends with for nearly 25 years couldn’t be bothered to have a conversation with me to end the relationship- I would have even settled for a text! But I got nothing, at the lowest time in my life (becoming disabled by long COVID). Anyway, thank you for giving space and voice to this topic. You write beautifully and concisely (I’m envious!).
for the past two weeks i thought someone i worked with had ghosted me. i'm so used to people, especially younger people, responding to text messages quickly that when I didn't hear back for two weeks I thought I had to move on. But then it turned out he was just sick! I was so happy I wanted to cry. What a terrible feeling.
Ghosting extends into the realm of parasocial relations. I don't like how it's now a subconscious modality when interacting online and wondering whether you are being ghosted, buried, shadow banned or otherwise stymied in free expression and discourse.
Agreed!
I follow the hard and fast rule of, "Man's rejection is God's protection." Bullet dodged. I learned a long time ago there are some people who like to be a version of themselves in certain friendships (and it can be different versions with different friends), and if you start seeing behind that veneer, they get truly uncomfortable and look for reasons to blame you/end the friendship. I'm still surprised when that happens (hasn't for a while; being older, we run out of fux and the energy to faux anything). But that's a them thing, not a we thing. (Still haven't gotten the card, Matt! LOL. Maybe before my birthday.) xo
I was ghosted in 2022 by a very good friend I’d had since 1998. Your post perfectly describes how awful it feels. I went through so many gyrations over it and spent a lot of time in therapy processing the pain of it all and my anger about it. The worst part was actually not the friendship ending; it was that this person I’d been friends with for nearly 25 years couldn’t be bothered to have a conversation with me to end the relationship- I would have even settled for a text! But I got nothing, at the lowest time in my life (becoming disabled by long COVID). Anyway, thank you for giving space and voice to this topic. You write beautifully and concisely (I’m envious!).
for the past two weeks i thought someone i worked with had ghosted me. i'm so used to people, especially younger people, responding to text messages quickly that when I didn't hear back for two weeks I thought I had to move on. But then it turned out he was just sick! I was so happy I wanted to cry. What a terrible feeling.